It's What's On the Inside

Yesterday we went for a family hike. Matt always enjoys exploring beyond the marked path. We paused so he could do this small climb. As he started I said, “Matt, be careful on the moss, it’s slippery and your shoes don’t have great grip.”

He responded, “It’s not about the shoes, Mom, but the person wearing them that matters.”

With that said, all I could do was step back, agree and watch him climb on.

I share this with you in case you too find yourself on uncertain ground. May we take the time to…

pause. breathe. pray.

And remind ourselves, as Matt reminded me, it’s about who God made us to be that matters, and He will equip us from the inside out with what we need for the path ahead. Yes, sometimes what’s on the outside can help us but the truth is, what’s happening in our hearts and minds matters most. So I pray for you, and me, that we take time to be still with God, are reminded of who He made us to be, and we move ahead with confidence on our journey, as Matt did on our hike yesterday.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

- Jeremiah 17:7

ACC UNITY

Every year our ACC family comes together across the world on one night and shines light into the darkness. We do this in solidarity to shine a light in remembrance of every ACC brother and sister we’ve lost, in honor of each ACC family member in the fight, for every caregiver who stands/has stood beside us, and to celebrate those who are NED, no evidence of disease.

Tonight is the night we shine the light in unity across the world.

I share this with you in case you want to join us. I invite you to join us to…

pause. breathe. pray.

In this world where this much division, it’s always beautiful to shine a light on what can unite us. If you choose to join us, send me a pic of how you light up the world tonight, and I’ll share it with our ACC family so they can see your love and support. Thanks for considering shining a light into the darkness with us

With love and hope,

Shawn

PS For those who are newer here, ACC stands for Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, a rare salivary gland cancer.

Step of Faith

School started this week but I decided not to go back to teach this year as I had anticipated to. The details are not just mine to share so therefore I won’t be sharing.

One truth I have learned in life is that “we make our plans but God directs (and redirects)our steps.” I am following where He is leading and am trusting He will lead me well, as He always does.

The other night at dinner we were around the table and I had mentioned that I was processing this change of direction. The next thing I knew is Matt placed this pencil and pad next to me. He said, “you always say writing is your therapy. Here you go, Mom, write.”

Ugh, I love this kid’s heart and that he reflected the truth to me that writing is my therapy. It is my way to process life. I often share some of what I write with others as I trust that whatever lessons I am learning God will use to help someone else too.

So today I wish well to all who are back, or who are heading back, to school. I will be taking time to sit with God, follow where He leads, and I’ll be writing as my therapy.

I share this in case you too find yourself being redirected, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we remember that God’s thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways higher than our ways. May we take a step of faith to follow Him and trust where He leads. And may we remember God can make good of all things, including a change in direction.

Here is to new beginnings

With love and hope,

Shawn

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We make our plans, God directs our steps. - Proverbs 16:9

How Can We Be Love In Action?

Today was Matt’s first day of school. Kate and Gavin have another week or so before they start. To my surprise they both woke up early to be able to send Matt off to school this morning.

Trust me when I say we have many messy moments in our home but this morning I saw a beautiful moment, I saw love in action as Kate and Gav chose Matt over sleep, not an easy thing for a teen to choose.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we look at those around us and ask ourselves how we can be love in action for someone who needs it today. And like teens sacrificing sleep to show up for their brother, may we recognize that being love in action may cost us something, but often it will be worth it

With love and hope,

Shawn

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…let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. - 1 John 3:18

Dear Kids and Teens

Dear Kids and Teens,

As you step into this new year, no matter your age, we want to remind you that we love you no matter how this year unfolds. You see our love for you is not based on your performance, on the outcome of your tests, or where you rank in your class. Our love for you is founded on seeing you as the unique person God made you to be and our hope is to encourage you this year to grow more and more into that person, as you refine your gifts and skills.

Please know we don’t expect you to be great at every subject and activity because that would be unrealistic of us. We are not great at everything ourselves so why would we expect that of you? The idea of being perfect is crippling so let’s promise to be two imperfect people who will make a commitment to do our best this year; you in school and me walking beside you through whatever happens. And when we fall short, which will happen for both of us, may we practice forgiveness and try again.

Also, just in case you forgot or don’t know yet, there are different types of smarts; some of us are more intellectually smart, others more kinethestically smart, others are more people smart, etc. We ask that you continue refine the areas that you’re naturally smart at and do your best in the areas that challenge you. And when you are challenged, please be willing to ask for help. Being able to do this is a strength, not a weakness. And know I will do the same. Let’s both commit to show up every day and give our best, support others around us to help them do their best, and have fun along the way as we do this. We know some days “your best” will look different, as does ours. May we take time to learn from the hard days, celebrate the good ones and remember we are all works in progress.

Please let us know how we can support you this year. Also, know when we support your teacher, it doesn’t mean we don’t support you. We are a team working together to help you learn and grow.

And always remember, you are loved for who you are, not for what you achieve. You are not a number but a child of God who was made with a purpose. Stay close to God, keep practicing the gifts and skills he’s given you, be willing to be refined where you are challenged and walk with your head up, knowing you are seen, heard and loved and God has plans for you this year, and beyond.

I love you and believe in you. May you go into this year loving and believing in yourself too.

With love and hope,

Your parent

Lay Down the Ladder

I took this picture years ago and I come back to it so often in my mind as a reminder to lay down the ladder.

What do I mean?

Often in life we unintentionally place people in an invisible ladder, tiering some above us and some below us. Maybe you haven’t, but I admittedly have. Doing this has never benefitted me, for when I put people above me I end up thinking less of myself and if I’ve tiered people below me, I’ve negated their true worth and value and put myself on a pedestal of pride, which is never wise to do.

You see, the more I learn about God, I see that He doesn’t have a ladder tiering us as people, one better or worse than another. I don’t believe He has a ladder at all but if He did have a ladder I wholeheartedly believe it would be laid down like this, placing each person beside one another. He sees each of us for who we He made us to be, and loves and values us as the individuals we are.

As I follow God, my aim in my days is to do my best to follow His lead and not place anyone above me, or below me, but see others as someone who is beside me in this life. I heard someone once say, “We are all children of God, He doesn’t have grandchildren.” This idea struck my heart and reminded me of my position in life, to be beside others.

I share this with you today as it’s on my heart, and to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

If you too have placed others on a ladder, above or beneath you, or others have placed you on one, may we lay down the invisible ladder we, or society, has created. May we instead place ourselves beside one another. May we pray to see one another as God sees us and honor one another and build each other up into the people He made us to be.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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1 Thessalonians 5:11

Pray for Others

Today we were having lunch outdoors at a restaurant when a man, who I presume was homeless, came by our table. He asked Matt who his Mom was and Matt pointed to me. The man, who held flowers one hand and flowers and a bottle of alcohol in the other, came over to me and handed me these flowers. I said, “thank you” and he started saying the Marine Corps motto, “Semper Fi.” When he was finished I thanked him for his service and he came over and gave me a fist bump. I said, “God bless you” and he stopped for a moment and his face looked grateful. He said, “yes, please pray for me,” followed by a quick story about his wounds from his time of service. I told him I would pray for him and before I could say more he was on his way with the other flowers and bottle of alcohol in his hands.

I share this with you because this man simply gave me flowers today and he asked for nothing in return but prayer. How beautiful is that?

A dear friend just said to me yesterday, “A burden shared is divided and a joy shared is multiplied.”

And so I share the joy of this man’s actions in hopes it inspires more of us to do selfless acts of love with nothing behind them but to make someone else smile. Also, I share this with you to invite you to…

pause. breathe. pray.

And to join me in praying for this generous wounded veteran who is did this random act of love today. May we pray for his healing, inside and out, and that a path back to solid ground is made for him, and that he take it. And while we are at it, may we also pray for all veterans, that their visible and invisible wounds be healed, and for all those who are doing their part to help veterans in their healing.

With gratitude and hope,

Shawn

Best Way to Start the Day

My favorite way to start each day!

Be Honest with Yourself, and Others

One day this week our kids and I had a picnic at one of our favorite places. While we were there some of us took pictures, others drew or painted. Moments here with my family are some of my favorites, as we grow still in the beauty of nature, we talk or sit in comfortable silence, and we make memories that fuel our souls.

As lovely as moments like these are, it’s still messy.

Ants crawl over our legs while we eat, crab apples fall on us, paint ends up in places it doesn’t belong, unnecessary bickering happens, etc.

I share this because as beautiful as life is, the truth is, it is messy too. And to be transparent, I’ve been having random messy days for a while now. Not every day, but I have random days scattered into my weeks where anxiety and depression call my name. Simple tasks feel like I’m moving boulders, self talk is nothing I would ever say to another soul, and the love coming my way is blocked by an unseen barrier I pray goes away whenever it happens.

I don’t share this for pity but to be real with you, as I know I’m not the only one who has these struggles. I want to write and share my heart yet I’ve expected myself to always have something encouraging to say when the reality is, some days I am just trying to show up for myself and my family and I don’t have capacity for more than that.

I even struggle writing this after the good news I received last week because all is well with me physically…yet the truth be told, mentally I have these random days when I am not well.

If you don’t know what I mean, I thank God for that and pray you never understand. If you know what I am talking about, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we be willing to admit to ourselves when we are not well within. May this truth not shame us but be a stepping stone to our healing. May we be willing to share our hearts with someone, even though it may be like trudging through mud to do so. And may we trust that God is our helper and will lift us up out of the pit and put us back on solid ground again and again and again until we stay there. Let’s hold on to hope and reach out for help when we need it. May we give thanks for the good days we experience and be willing to acknowledge the messy. The messy is not who we are or how God wants us to live but there are so many things that fuel the messy. May we be intentional and directional to fight this battle for our minds with every resource we have, especially with God. I know He is good and will help us win the battle. He has helped and guided me through this time and time again, and I wholeheartedly trust He will do the same for you too. I pray each day that the beauty in life is more potent than the messy for us, like it was that day having a picnic in the park with my kids.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. - Philippians 4:8

Palms Up

Yesterday was my scan day in Boston. As I laid & prayed on the mri table, I held the call button in my left hand & extended my right arm out on the table with my palm up. I have done this at every scan over the past five years, & did it as well during my treatments five years ago.

Why do I do this?

In God’s word, it is written, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand & says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” - Isaiah 41:13

When I lay down, I don’t know what the outcome of the scan will be. Will the cancer be back or will I get more time to live cancer free?

To help me fight through the unknown, I open my right hand & picture Jesus in the room with me holding my hand, reminding me I am never alone in this journey, or any other.

As I sat in the room waiting my my doctor to give me the results, I sat there heart thumping yet with my palms up again. “For better is one handful of tranquility that two hands grasping at the wind.” I repeatedly shared my hearts desires with God but also trusted Him no matter the outcome.

When the doctor came in & shared the scans looked good a wave of gratitude washed over me.

(I know not everyone gets the same results so may we keep those who scans aren’t clear in our prayers)

I am sharing this today for anyone walking in the unknown of any kind. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Even when we may physically be alone, may we remember we are never alone. May we open our right hand as an invitation for Jesus to hold our hand and join us on the journey. He wants to help us but will never force his presence upon us. He’s the gracious friend waiting beside us, loving us, respecting us where we are, and will be there for us anytime, any day, in every way.

I know this is a little out there to picture Jesus sitting beside us. I share this as someone who didn’t really believe in God over a decade ago. Yet as someone who gave Him a chance & invited Him in, I can say, His love & Word are transformational & have helped me over & over & over again- & I wholeheartedly believe the same will be true for you too.

Palms up.

With love & hope,

Shawn