The Worst Part of An Arguement

For at least a year Gavin has been trying to have Matt watch a movie. He kept telling Matt that he’d love it. It was a historical movie, and Matt loves history, but Matt thought it may be a little much for him. So Matt chose to not watch the movie for over a year.  

Unbeknownst to Matt, Gavin downloaded that movie onto the iPad for a road trip. On our way home, Gavin told Matt that he had that movie on the iPad and asked if he was up for watching it. Matt finally said yes.  

After the movie was over, Matt was saying how much he loved the movie. And then he said something that has stuck with me since, he said,

“the worst part of an argument is when you realize you are wrong.”

The wisdom - and humility - in that statement from our 11 year old hit me hard, as it made me see that I don’t like to always admit when I am wrong. Yet what I was hearing Matt say is that admitting I am wrong would be a humbling, and worthwhile. 

I share this with you today in case you too can find yourself too prideful at times to admit when you are wrong as well. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we be willing to humble ourselves, as Matt did with Gavin, and admit when we are wrong. Yes, it may be uncomfortable at first to do so, yet the long term benefits that can come from that admission, personally and relationally, will make it worth it. 

With love and hope, 

Shawn

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom. - Proverbs 11:2

A Story of Thanks and Giving

A story of thanks and giving…

I met Eden years ago on the sidelines of the baseball field where our boys played ball. Over the years a friendship formed and we started walking together regularly. On our walks, I had the chance to get to know Eden more, and learn more of their family’s story.

Eden has a daughter Abby, who is 8 years old, and she has a rare and severe form of epilepsy called Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome (LGS). People with LGS have multiple types of seizures that vary among individuals. Most people living with LGS experience some degree of impaired intellectual functioning or information processing, along with developmental delays and behavioral disturbances. There is no known cause nor cure for this debilitating syndrome.

As a friend of their family, it has been powerful to watch Eden, her husband, John, and their son care for Abby throughout the years.

On our walks, Eden would share what life is like with a child with LGS. One comment she made one day has stayed with me. She shared, “having a loved one with LGS is like living in a battle zone, the bullets aren’t always flying but you need to be prepared for when they do.”

As we continued to walk and talk, over time I learned how the van they had wasn’t meeting their needs. Eden or John were lifting Abby into the van to buckle her in daily. Doing this all the time wasn’t something they complained about yet was growing more challenging as Abby was getting bigger and stronger. Having a van with a ramp that had more safety features would be a blessing to them.

God put it on my heart one day to ask Eden if she’d be willing to share her story and let people help them get a motorized, handicap accessible van.

She was resistant.

They are a humble, hard-working family and have been so use to doing life all on their own, to ask for help was challenging.

I made sure she knew there was zero pressure but asked her to consider it.

As I waited for her to think about it, doubt grew in me as I honestly wasn’t sure if we’d get the funds and would hate to put this out there and fall short for their family. Yet I’ve learned that when God prompts you to do something, it’s best to follow His lead.

Over time Eden and John eventually agreed to our creating a gofundme to raise funds for the van.

I reached out to family and friends who graciously donated but we were only a tenth of the way towards our goal.  I had also reached out to some connections at various churches locally to see if they could contribute.

One day I unexpectedly received a call from a local care minister who said their church had a connection with a local non-profit, Amy’s Angels, that helped them get a van for someone at their church.  He kindly connected us with the non-profit.

Eden and John met with the people from Amy’s Angels who listened to their story. They didn’t make any promises to Eden and John but after months of the Gofundme staying at the same amount, the meeting brought more hope to our hearts.

Time went by with no word from the non-profit.

Then one day they called Eden and John and said they had raised enough money, coupled with the Gofundme, to get the van for Abby!

The joy we all experienced was palpable! Happy tears flowed!

Then a couple of weeks ago I got a note from Eden saying their van was being delivered the next day! She sent me pictures of their family receiving the van from Amy’s Angels, and it brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Seeing them receive the van for Abby was awesome and a moment definitely worth celebrating!

Yet their story is also a reminder that when we have a need, it may be hard to let people in but we need to. It took a step of faith for Eden and John to stop doing it on their own and be willing to let others know their story and lend a hand their way.

Also, their story reminds me that when we get a prompting within us to do something, even when it doesn’t make sense, when we don’t know what the outcome will be, and we fear failing, we still need to take a step of faith into what God is asking us to do.

I share this good news with you today to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray. ™

May this story encourage us that God knows our needs and has circles of love around us to lean into to help us. We were not made to do life alone. We need community. May we be willing to take a step of faith and let someone in to help us.

And if we are in someone’s circle of love who we know has a need, may we do what we can to lend a hand their way. And if we get that inner knowing we are to do something that seems impossible, may we also take a step of faith. May we place our trust in God, and remember that He is working at all times in ways we cannot see.  And that His timing is best, even though it is not always aligned with ours.

May our lives be filled and fueled with stories like this; when friends open up, friends and community support one another, needs are met and love is always the common thread in the story.

With joy and gratitude,

Shawn

For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me... Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. - Matthew 25:35-40

*names were changed to honor the family’s privacy

The Circles of Gratitude

Last night I was teaching Matt's class at church and we were talking about gratitude with it being the week of Thanksgiving. We encouraged the kids to take a moment to thank God for the gifts in their lives and for who He made them to be. Then we broadened the circle of gratitude by having the kids write a thank you card to someone in their family, sharing something that they appreciate about the person they were writing to. Then, with the limited time we had, we asked them to write a thank you to someone in our church family thanking them for their contribution. Once they were done with their notes, the kids delivered the notes to those who were there, including the custodian who works at the school we hold classes in. Minutes after they delivered the card, the custodian showed up at our classroom. He came in to say to the kids, with a tear in his eye, how thankful he was to receive their note and how he was going to keep it on his desk to look at every day. When he left, there was a brief silence in the room - and for those of you who work with kids understand what a rare moment like that is. The silence spoke volumes to me, that the custodian's words captured their hearts. We asked the class how that moment impacted them and one girl shared, "it didn't take a lot of effort to say thank you but it made his day better and he's keeping the card." And when we asked the class how they felt being thanked by the custodian, they said how it made them feel good.

Expressing our thanks to God, and others, shines light and love into the hearts of the receivers, and the givers. 

So as we move into this week, let's make the time to...

pause. breathe. pray.™ 

Let's practice the same circles of gratitude the kids did last night. Let's take a moment to give thanks to God for the gifts in our lives and for who He made us to be. Then let's take a moment to give a call or write a note to someone in our family who we'd like to thank for who they are or something they've done for us that we appreciate. Then let's think about someone in our church family who we'd like to send a note their way.  Next, let's think about the people beside us day in and day out, like a friend or a co-worker, who we can express gratitude towards. And then let's grow in the habit of seeing the people throughout our day who we can say thank you to, even for the simplest things; like a person holding a door for us, the barista at the coffee shop, the cashier at the store, etc. When we posture our heart with gratitude, we are aligning ourselves with God, and who He made us to be. Unspoken gratitude is like having a gift for someone that we never give them to open. Gratitude shared can make a difference in our hearts and minds, and in the hearts and minds of those receiving it, like it did for the custodian last night. So let's be a part of the difference we want to see in the world, and be vessels of love and gratitude, as we are called to be today, and every day.

Happy Thanksgiving friend! I hope you have a blessed week and your eyes and ears are open to all you have to be thankful to God for.

With love and hope,

Shawn
 

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

And be thankful." - Colossians 3:15

Harvest Love

Yesterday was the birthday of a dear friend, Val, who passed away this spring after a three year battle with cancer. Val and I met when my middle child and her youngest were in pre-school together. They are now in their junior year of High School.  

Val was a light in many people’s lives, including mine. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2017, she showed up at my door with a Sunshine Box filled with encouraging words from her Girl Scout Troop. Val was just that, a ray of sunshine, from her smile and sweet, calming voice to her selfless acts of love; she scattered sunshine and love into hearts all around town.

Val and I were more acquaintances through the years until she reached out and shared her diagnosis with me. We went on a walk together where she opened up and let me in behind the surface of what she was going through. At the end of our walk we prayed together, and we came to see that our faith in God united us. From that walk on, our faith in God was the foundation of our friendship. Prayer was the core of our conversations. Val’s faith was rich and deep, and her love for God, her husband and two children, were  the strength behind her warrior’s heart.

Val’s battle was long and challenging, yet she continued to shine the light of love to everyone who was beside her, from her family and friends to the doctors and nurses who cared for her. Val’s love reflected the heart of Jesus, as she was more focused on those who were beside her than on herself.  She didn’t allow her circumstances to dictate her wellness, she chose to live well, and live out love, in spite of her circumstances.

The last time I visited with Val she was sleeping. Rather than trying to wake her, I sat on the side of the bed beside her and prayed over her and her family. When I left, I held her hand and whispered in her ear, “God bless you, Val. May His peace be with you.”  Unexpectedly Val whispered something back to me. Although I couldn’t make it out, knowing her she was saying, “and with you too.”

Val was a selfless soul who found life in Jesus, and in loving others.  Her joy was evident in her radiant smile and shining blue eyes. Having to see Val have to go to heaven to heal is hard to accept. Yet in her passing, I saw something beautiful, all the love she shared became visible as the church couldn’t hold all the people who came to celebrate her life. When I looked around at all the people who came to honor Val’s life, I saw that Val’s life, and love, made a positive impact in so many lives. She scattered seeds of love, and that love grew in other people’s hearts. Val planted gardens of love in our community, and love will continue to grow and be harvest here because she chose to live a life grounded in God’s love.

Witnessing the love Val shared become visible was powerful and made me see it isn’t what we get in life that matters, but what we give. And the greatest gift we can give is love, which can grow in the hearts of others.

I invite you to join me today to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May Val’s life inspire us to use our time, energy and resources, as she did, to plants seeds of love into the hearts of others through our words and our actions. So when our time comes to meet our maker, instead of harvesting a lot of things in this life, instead may the harvest we leave behind for others to gather be from the seeds of God’s love we have scattered into the hearts of others each day, just as Val did.

With love and hope,

Shawn

This was approved by Val’s family for me to share, and can be found in the 2023 Autumn Issue of Our Story Magazine HERE.

Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few;
therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”
- Matthew 9:37-38 ESV

Thank you, Veterans

To all who have served our country, 

Thank you for your selfless service.


With love and hope,
Shawn

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. - John 15:13

The Gift of Time

Yesterday was my birthday and the kids had off. They asked me what I wanted to do and gave me the gift of their time, all-day-long. Time together was truly such a blessing as Kate heads off to college next year and I see how these moments of the five of us being together will happen, but less often.

I share this with you today as a reminder that we can think we need to give someone some”thing,” when time is really the only gift we need to give.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Who is someone we can give the gift of our time to today? Let’s choose to give the gift of time, it costs nothing yet is worth everything…especially to my mama’s heart these days.

With love and hope,
Shawn

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. -Psalm 90:12

Prayerful Decisions

Gavin received his driver’s permit a while back and  we have been driving around together often to get his hours in to get his license. The other day there was a person on our tail and I found myself saying to him, “don’t allow the people around you to determine your choices for you.”  

After saying that, I realized that truth wasn’t just for Gavin, but that I could practice that truth myself. And that what I said wasn’t just applicable to driving but this truth can be applied in many areas of our lives.

I share this with you today in case you too at times find you allow the influence of others around you to determine your choices.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we remember that in life there are so many voices calling for our attention to influence us, in person and online. Words can feel like the person driving behind Gavin, pressuring us to make choices. We don't have to do much to hear others because it's around every corner we turn. Yet messages that align with God aren't as prevalent in our lives. Instead, we have to be intentional and directional to get to know God, and His word, so that we can better know His voice when we are making decisions.

As we move into this week, let's take time with God and pray over any choices we have to make. May we ask God to give us insight and wisdom so that we have a calm confidence when making the choices.

Will we always know that the choices we make are fully aligned with God's will? No, we won't because we aren't God. Yet by at least by making the choice to invite God in to be the greatest influence in our lives, we are not practicing living from the outside in, but instead living from the inside out, which will help renew our minds, grow peace in our hearts, and wellness in our souls...even when someone is tailing us.

With love and hope,
Shawn

A Step of Faith

A couple of weeks ago I had the privilege of going to Pine Grove School with Jan, the illustrator of A Place for Sam, to encourage the students. I love seeing their smiling faces as they hear that they are unique, valued, loved and their puzzle piece matters🧩 What I wasn’t expecting is to have an adult who was there come over to me and tell me that this what just the message she needed to hear right now. I won’t share more of her story, because it’s not mine to tell. Yet after hearing what she shared my heart smiled knowing being there with her was a divine appointment.

I share this with you today, yes to celebrate the joyful day we had, but also as a reminder that when we feel called by God to do something, even when it doesn’t make sense, do it. My background is a Health and Physical Ed teacher, not a writer. Yet when these words came to me 7 years ago, I knew they needed to be shared. And here we are 7 years later and the timeless message in these pages continues to bridge hearts with those reading, kids and adults.

So if you too feel like God has placed something on your heart to say or do, no matter the size of the ask- from walking to the neighbors to say hi to writing a book- I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we be willing to take a step of faith forwards, and trust God’s hand is in it and that He will do something from our act of love- even years later like He is doing with A Place for Sam💗🙏🧩

With love and hope,
Shawn

Trust God With the Detours

(original message sent via email 10/23/23)

Recently I was reflecting on when Kate and I were headed to spend the day together in Boston this summer. I have been there 1,000 times over the past 6 years because that is where my doctors are. Yet in all the times I traveled to Boston, I took the same route and was never once detoured…until this ride with Kate. We were traveling the Mass Pike and the GPS told us take an exit. I was confused because this had never happened. I took the exit but was getting a little unsettled because this was out of the ordinary. Kate could see I was unnerved by this detour and said, “This just means God has another route for us today, Mom.” I initially wanted to react and say something but instead I sat with the wisdom she shared with me.

God has allowed me to go on detours before in life, and I trusted Him then. Why would I not trust Him with this detour off the highway?

Psalm 25:4-5 Says, “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

This verse is a reminder that God has a path for me, and you, in life. The wisest choice is to do our best to align with His paths for us, rather than determining paths for ourselves.

Admittedly, this practice isn’t just a switch that flicked inside of me, or you.  And that day with Kate, even after I heard what she said, rather than resting and trusting God, I double checked our destination to be sure we had the address in the GPS correctly. After that, I prayed through the unsettled feelings I had, asking God to guide me, as this Psalm reminds me to do. I realized that worrying and gripping to the usual way wasn’t going to benefit me, or my time with Kate. So I chose to let go of the normal route, trusted God - and the GPS. Kate and I ended up driving through beautiful towns we had never seen before and ones we would have never seen if we were on our normal route on the highway. After a following this new path, we arrived at our destination on time.

I share this with you today in case your days, or paths, ever get detoured like mine do. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

When we get detoured in life, may we notice our natural reaction - which for me usually doesn’t include God and instead a lot of emotions. Then, let’s choose to invite God into the detour with us, as Kate reminded me to do on that drive to Boston. May we remember that detours may not be convenient but they are opportunities for us to rely more on God, and less on ourselves. As we move into this week, let’s pray for God's guidance to help us follow His paths for us, rather than our own. 

To help you remember this week's message, click HERE for a FREE printable of this week's verse, and listen to this week's Live from the Inside Out™ podcast  HERE.

I pray you have a blessed week, friend! 

With love and hope,

Shawn

The Intersection of Joy and Sorrow

(original message sent via email 10/16/23)

We had a wonderful weekend at a family wedding. As much fun as we had, there is also a weight on my heart knowing that there are others right now in the fight for their life. This dichotomy stops me in my tracks sometimes and brings me back to the question, "how can one day be filled with pure joy and at the same time there be such unimaginable sorrow?"

This is a question I asked a wise friend a couple of years ago. The response my friend shared with me that day will stay with me forever. I am sharing his wise words with you today in case you struggle with this dichotomy as well. I pray that what he shared with me will help you too.

What he said to me that day is, “what you are describing is the cross; the intersection of where joy and sorrow meet.”

Let me pause for a moment.

I know a number of years ago if someone said this to me I would have said, “what?!” in my head, and then just nodded my head politely to someone talking about the cross like this to me. So please know I completely get it if that’s where you are today and what you want to do right now while reading this. Yet I also know some of you are nodding your head in complete agreement with my friend's wise words.

Wherever you are on your faith walk, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

What my wise friend was sharing with me is that the cross, where Jesus died, is where joy and sorrow intersect. In the moment Jesus died, there was great sorrow for his death yet that same moment was also filled with immeasurable joy for his selfless sacrifice for you, and for me; freeing us from our sins and giving us life. (And if the word sin is a little much for you, I get it, as it used to be for me. What helped me understand sin better was to see that it means what we say and do that isn't in alignment with God.)

So when I am in a day where I see joy and sorrow happening at the same time, I now look to the cross. For at the cross, I see that Jesus gave us a gift - the example that days like this would exist, and that joy and sorrow will have to exist together for us to truly experience the fullness of life. 

Yet that is not the whole story.

There is also hope.

You see when Jesus died, the people thought that was the end of the story, but it wasn't. And so when I hear and see of inexplicable sorrow, it makes me turn to the cross, and remember, God is working at all times, and often we cannot see what He is doing. May we look to Jesus' life, death and resurrection as a reminder that there is hope even when all seems hopeless. 

And so today I choose look to the cross and to hold on to hope to anchor me on these days, and in these times, and I offer for you to do the same to help you through. 

To help you remember this week's message, click HERE for this week's FREE printable: Hebrews 6:19, and listen to this message on this week's Live from the Inside Out™ podcast  HERE.

I pray you have a blessed week, friend! 

With love and hope,

Shawn

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