30 Tips for People Newly Diagnosed with Cancer & 25 Ways to Support a Friend with Cancer

Seven years ago today, I went the the ENT expecting to get nasal spray but instead was told I had a tumor in my nasal cavity that had grown into my palate. Every year on my 'cancerversaries,' I try and take a day that wasn't good, and flip the memory by harnessing this day and doing something good with it. So today, I wanted to share with you something I created to help people who are newly diagnosed. Here are "30 Tips for People Newly Diagnosed with Cancer." This is the abbreviated version. The expanded version is available as well. Free PDF's of both versions are available for you HERE.

Please feel free to share this with anyone you know going through cancer. Also, HERE is a link to another free PDF, "25 Ways to Support a Friend with Cancer," available in abbreviated and an expanded version as well. If you or someone you know is walking beside someone right now, feel free to share this with them or print it out for yourself.

As you head back into your day, I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we remember, we cannot control what happens to us but we can control our response to it. May we prayerfully harness our stories, when we are ready, and do what we can to use them to do good and help others who are walking a parallel journey.

With love and hope,
Shawn


"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

Alcohol Free Living

Seven years ago today I had my last drink of alcohol. Recently while at a wedding someone said that they were surprised to see me having so much fun dancing while sober. I laughed because I was having so much fun dancing but their comment did make me think about how many times in my life I did have a drink to help me loosen up to have fun in social settings.

I chose to stop drinking after I was diagnosed with cancer and I never looked back.

Please know I am not sharing this to shame or condemn anyone who drinks. I am sharing this as a reminder that joy is something that flows from within us, and isn’t something we will find outside ourselves, including in a drink. It’s been freeing for me to just be me. I won’t say I’ll never have a drink again but I will say, I no longer need one to be me, and that is refreshing.

With love and hope,
Shawn

For video click HERE

The gift of an act of love

The other day when I went to the grocery store I had trouble getting a cart out. Do you know what I mean? When they get stuck together and it’s hard to figure out how to get them apart?

I was trying my third row of carts, when a man came over and pulled two apart and said, “here you go” and walked away. He had a basket in his hand already and didn’t need a cart for himself. I guess he saw me having trouble and decided to come and help me separate the carts for me, and then went on with his day.

This moment was brief yet it filled my heart with such gratitude. This man looked outside of himself, saw a need and met it. This simple act of love is what life’s about.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray. ™

May we remember to look up and outside of ourselves. I know sometimes I can get so stuck in my own thoughts or focused on my own path, I have missed opportunities to live out love. May we pray to be filled with God’s love, truth and wisdom that we are more outward facing in our days, keeping our eyes and ears open to simple ways we can live out love. As this gentleman showed, it doesn’t take much, but a small act of love can leave big imprints on hearts. So may we go scatter God’s love into others hearts, by choosing to be present, outward facing and live out simple acts of love.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Top Two Goals

Let’s not complicate life any more than it already is.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

And live out love today💕🙏💕

With love and hope,

Shawn

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied:`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'

This is the first and greatest commandment.

And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself.' - Matthew 22:37-39

Love God and Love Other Well

Hi friend,

Today most of us have the day off in honor of a person who chose to live out his faith for others, Martin Luther King Jr. On this day off we may hear some of his quotes, maybe we see a story or read an article or two about him. But do we pause to really think about this person who made a difference in so many people’s lives, and helped changed culture?

I invite you today to take a moment to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Let’s choose to pause and reflect on the life of Martin Luther King Jr. We see a man of faith who had the courage to say and do things others didn’t, who experienced consequences for standing up for what was right, and whose life was lost living out love for others. His lived with purpose, living out Mark 12:30-31, 

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these."

May we take a moment to reflect on how MLK's life is an example of these two truths being lived out.

We live in a culture now that focuses on ease, comfort and there is a lot of messaging around taking care of ourselves. And yes, those things are nice yet is living that way truly our purpose here? I would say it isn't.  Instead, I would say we are here to live a life of purpose and the two truths in that verse give us insight and wisdom to how to live purposefully; by loving God and loving others, as we would want to be loved.  And yes, we need to care for ourselves and nourish ourselves, inside and out, yet may we do so so that we are fueled with love so that we can then be more outward facing, loving others throughout our days. (And please know, if you are in a season of healing, the person you may need to focusing on loving today is you, but also, even when healing, sometimes loving others helps heal us in ways we never expected - and I share that from my own experience.)

We were made to take care of ourselves but not to be self-focused. Let's choose to care for ourselves so that we are able to use the gifts and skills we have to love others well. We are to be a light in this dark world, as MLK was, and be willing to stand up for others. I don't mean it has to be on a national level like MLK did, but in the small day to day moments let's keep our eyes and ears open to see and hear where there are needs, where there is injustice, and be willing to be a voice, or act, when needed. And this doesn't mean we need to be everything to everyone. Our time with God often will help us discern what is ours to do, verses what is God's, and for others to do. Time with God will help direct how we love others well.

Living this way is not necessarily a life filled with comfort and ease but it is a life filled with purpose. And I personally want to live a purposeful life? You?

When I think about how purposeful MLK was, I am inspired to live with purpose and to leave a mark on others hearts, as he did. And even though we honor his life today, when we step closer, we see that the mark he left wasn't really about him. But we see that he was a man of faith living out his faith. He was a vessel of God's love day by day, and he lived out the two truths in that verse well.

So as we step into our week, may we meditate on Mark 12:30-31 as a reminder of our greater purpose, to love God and love others well. Let's choose to live out these principles so that when someone hears our story, it isn't about us. But that others come to see God as the foundation of our story, like we do with Martin Luther King, Jr. 

With love and hope,
Shawn

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  I hope your New Year is starting off well.

Something that is on my heart recently is how we often are talking about what we are doing, and we don't have a lot of conversations around who we are being. Like many of you, I have goals I want to go after both personally and professionally this year. So I took some time last week to pause and reflect. I chose 'being' before 'doing.' 

I am learning in life, when I just go and do things, I am often redirected. Taking time to pause and be with God can give me clarity about what it actually is I am suppose to do.

As I prayed about the goals I want to achieve this year, I became aware of a layer we are not focusing on when we set goals. This time of year there is so much talk about setting goals, but there isn't a lot of discussion around the character qualities that we need to practice, that will ultimately help us achieve those goals.

For example, one of my life goals is to have strong relationships. In order to have strong relationships, I need to prioritize my time and plan to spend time with my loved ones. I need to be present and a good listener when I am with them. I need to be willing to be honest and trustworthy. Simply going on a date with my loved ones isn't enough. The character qualities I mentioned are what I need to practice while I am with them to help grow the relationships stronger.

Also, another life goal I have is to be an active elderly woman, wife, and grandparent one day. In order be that, I need to focus on using my time wisely and do what is mine to do to care for my health, like being active and eating wisely, which requires diligence, discipline, determination, and perseverance, today.

You see, we set goals, but that's not enough to help us reach them. What we need to aim for is to build up the character qualities within that will help us achieve those goals.

For me, some of those include:

- prioritizing time for loved ones
- planning
- being present
- being a good listener
- using my words wisely
- using my time wisely
- being diligent
- being disciplined
- being determined
- persevering

I share this with you today because I don't want you to go through another year setting goals and partially achieving them. This year, let's take time to unpack what the actually character qualities are we need to refine, build and practice that will help us actually achieve the goals we set.  Also, let's be sure we are setting the wisest goals for ourselves to begin with.

So as we step into this new year, I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.™

Let's be sure to prioritize time with God every day so we can be before we do. May our time with God help us learn more about His quality of character - and inspire us to live more aligned with Him. May we pray for Spirit's help and guidance to help us refine the character qualities within ourselves, so when we get to the end of 2024, we look back with contentment and gratitude, not just about goals we have reached, but more importantly, who we have become within.

To kick start your New Year HERE is a printable to help you uncover the character qualities you need to achieve your goals. 

Wishing you a New Year filled with being still with God, faith, peace, joy, and love! And for more encouragement, listen to this week's Live from the Inside Out™ podcast HERE.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones from our family...and Georgia!

Driving around the other day, I noticed the bareness of the landscape. When I looked at the bare space, during the most wonderful time of the year, I was reminded that Christmas may be a challenging time for people, as people may be mourning a loved one, experiencing a health scare, healing from a broken relationship, etc.. Even with so much good around, it may be hard for some of us to see above the challenge and experience the joy this season, and this day has to offer. So today I write yes, to celebrate Jesus' birthday, and also to be sure, if today is hard for you, for you to remember you are not alone. 

A verse I hold very dear, especially this time of year, is Isaiah 9:6. It reads,

“For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

When I think about any struggle we encounter in our lives, it is comforting to know that we have a Wonderful Counselor available to us night and day. We are never alone; Emmanuel, God is with us. We have a Mighty God who is for us, and wants to be invited in to help us fight the visible and invisible battles we experience. We have an Everlasting Father who loves us unconditionally whether our lives - and thoughts - are tidy, or a mess. And we have the Prince of Peace who came into our lives so we can have rest in our souls, no matter our circumstances. Knowing this truth doesn't mean our struggles will always go right away, but it gives us a truth to help anchor our souls, and something we can meditate on to help us through. I share this with you today, as we celebrate Christmas as a reminder of who Jesus is in our lives.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

On this Christmas day, may we not only see the baby in the manger, may we allow Jesus to be the light in our lives He came to be. May we open our minds, eyes, ears, hearts and hands to Him and receive what He is offering; to be our Wonderful Counselor, our Mighty God, our Everlasting Father, our Prince of Peace. May we allow His love for us to transform our hearts, minds and lives. And on those days, when we are feeling bare within, like the landscape I saw that day, may we remember we are never alone, God is always with us, and He puts others in our lives to help us through as well. Jesus was born to show us the way, the truth and life, may we receive the free gift He is offering and by doing so, experience rest, and joy, in our soul, even in a bare season.

Wishing you a blessed Christmas friend! 


With love and hope,
Shawn
 

For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given;
and the government shall be upon His shoulder,
and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 9:6

How to Overcome Temptation

The other day my sweet mom dropped off cupcakes and 13-egg cookies, a friend gave me chocolates and our neighbor dropped off her annual delivery of Christmas peanut butter balls. Needless to say I ate a few things that day that I normally wouldn't eat. When I went to bed that night I told Stephen I wasn't going to have any more Christmas cookies/sweets. I am not sure that statement was realistic yet I do know certain choices will leave me with regret and other choices will leave me with more peace within.

The day after I told Stephen that, I was thinking about a quote I love:

"Just because everything is available, does not mean it is beneficial."
- Andy Stanley


This truth is applicable in so many areas of our lives. And that day this quote was a reminder to me that just because these extra sweets are available to me in this season, doesn't mean they are beneficial for me.

What is available to you that you know isn't beneficial for you?

I was in the kitchen that day and I saw the last peanut butter ball on the counter...and instead of walking away, I rationalized that if I ate it, then they would be gone and I wouldn't be tempted anymore. So I ate the last peanut butter ball.

Can you relate in some way? You say you aren't going to do something again, and you find yourself doing it again soon after?

This my friend is temptation.

Temptation is real in our lives, and not just with cookies. There is so much temptation around us everyday. And a root of our discontentment can be giving into temptations, like it was for me that night in ned. 

The thing is often it's easier to give in. The path to temptation is clear. Choosing to practice self-control and be willing to turn from the temptations that don't benefit us is more challenging.  And the reality is, trying to conquer it on our own strength will lead us to often fall short, but with God, His Spirit is willing and able to give us what we need to resist the temptations.

There is a powerful verse about temptation that I love to meditate on. I don't always remember to lean into this verse in the moment - obviously - but when I do remember, it truly helps shift my focus from the temptation to a new path.  The verse is 1 Corinthians 10:13,

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. 

This verse is a reminder to me, and you, that we are all tempted, whether its by food, technology, money, gossip, power, or other desires. Yet this scripture tells us that God is faithful and will provide us a way out.  Isn't that encouraging?!

Yet to know what we need to turn from it's important we identify our temptations. Let's take a moment to answer these two questions:

1. What are the top 1-3 temptations in my life?

2. When I am tempted, am I seeking a way out, or do I create an excuse to give into the temptation (like I did with the peanut butter ball that day)?

After taking time to answer those, I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.™

We live in a world where temptation is around every corner as so much is available to us. Yet that does not mean what is available is beneficial to our wellbeing; our mind, body, soul, our relationships, etc. Let's ask God to prompt us within when we are tempted and, rather than giving into temptations, that we seek the way out He is offering us. May our prayer, and meditation on this scripture, help us turn away from what our personal temptations are so that when we lay our head down at night, rather than having regrets like I did that night, instead we experience a greater peace within that comes living more aligned with God's Word and Truth, as we choose the way out, rather then give into temptation. 

With love and hope,

Shawn

Do You Ever Overreact?

There was some excitement over here at our home last week as Gavin got his license!  We are so excited for him! Two drivers in two years. It's crazy but a gift to watch our kids grow.

While teaching Gavin to drive this year, and Kate last year, I wasn't only teaching them but I was being refined in the process as well. I loved the time with my kids in the car but to be honest, I didn't love the process of teaching them to drive. There was a sermon I heard last year while teaching Kate and the wisdom was so timely, it became something I meditated on again and again as I drove with her last year, and while driving with Gavin this year. The line from the sermon that struck a chord with me was...

"Over Under React."
- Andy Stanley

I realized through the process of teaching Kate and Gavin to drive is that I at times overreact. It's not absurd to react when you think your head may hit a mailbox...yet mine never did. That was the story in my head, not the reality. And I realized when I felt out of control I allowed the emotions of what might happen lead me rather than the truth of what was actually happening be my guide. Did Kate and Gavin need to be redirected at times? Yes. Yet the way I was reacting needed to be refined, just as their driving did. The reality is that sometimes my reactions stirred up more chaos in the car that could have lead to an accident rather than help avoid one from happening. 

Whether or not you have ever taught someone to drive, have you ever overreacted at times?

What I have learned is that I am quick to react when I feel out of control when my kids are driving. These three words from the sermon were a saving grace - when I practiced them.  To help me put them into practice I would repeat them in my head, and sometimes out loud...

Over Under React.

Over Under React.

Over Under React.

I share this with you today in case you have a student driver and/or you too are someone who can overreact when someone says or does something, or you feel out of control.  I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we choose to over under react. These three words remind me of a wise saying by Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl. He said, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." 

The thing is, we don't always give space between stimulus and response. Instead there is a stimulus and then we react. Let's choose to practice creating space between stimulus and our response to it. And in that space is when we can invite God in to help us give a healthy, productive response, rather than a quick, destructive reaction. So as we walk through this Advent season, when our schedules can be busier, and we may tend to react quickly than respond prayerfully, let's choose to invite God in to help us over under react.  By creating space between stimulus and response, we can grow more prayerful which will keep us closer to God this Christmas season, and help us be the reflection of His love that we are called to be, especially to the kids in our lives. 

With love and hope,

Shawn

What Do We Pass Along?

With Christmas season ahead of us, I know that our lists get longer, and our time and patience at times can grow thinner. Today I wanted to share with you one of my favorite stories that reminds me not to go with the flow of the chaos around me, but to choose to be rooted in God's love and allow that to be what flows from me.

When Matt was in Kindergarten I received a call home from a teacher saying that he, and other classmates, had made poor choices in class that day.

When Matt arrived home that day I told him about the call and asked him what happened.

He replied very matter of factly, “There was a classmate who was angry and he pushed the kid next to him. Then that boy passed the anger to the next kid by stomping on his foot and then that person passed the anger to me. Then it was my turn to pass along the anger.” His response made me pause and repeat in my head what he said…

It was my turn to pass along the anger?

I did not condone Matt’s choices that day and shared with him that yes, anger may come our way, or bubble up within us, yet it doesn't mean we have to pass it on.  This doesn’t mean we become punching bags for others yet we are called to be slow to anger. Anger is not suppose to be our first response. Yet like the line to students showed that day, passing anger can be easy, and seem normal.

And this isn't just true in their class.

When I broaden the lens, passing anger along is something that we do as adults. 

Have we ever had a bad day at work and come home to our family and are short with them?

Have we ever had someone say something to us, and we say something back out of the anger we feel?

Have we ever had something happen to us that made us upset and rather than diffusing the hard emotions, use them as fuel to ‘get back’ at someone?

I think it is in human nature to allow anger to be our fuel. Yet this isn’t God’s plan for us. He calls for us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger." (James 1:19)

I am sharing this with you today to invite you to join me to... 

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we remember that we are called to be slow to anger and that what we do with our anger matters. Let’s recognize that our initial reaction most likely is more destructive than productive. When anger comes our way, or we experience it within, instead of passing is along, may we instead create space - and invite God in. Let's do this so that we can sift through the anger and choose wisely what to say or do, or what not to say or do. 

And like I shared with Matt that day, we can’t control what comes our way but we can control our response to it. So as we move into this week, if we find ourselves getting tense, or tensions arising around us, rather than allowing the tensions to be what fuel us, may we pray that God's truth and love is what fuels us, and flows from us, instead.

With love and hope,

Shawn

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